There’s no denying that babies are nothing short of a miracle. Those big eyes, chubby cheeks, and gurgling giggles are sources of pure joy.
But there’s also no denying that, at times, they can be pretty darn gross. I’m not sure about you, but I know I’ve been covered in more bodily fluids than I like to think about!
Even so, it’s a fact: I miss Arabella being a small. Now she’s four and she’s like this whole human. And guys…
I. AM. BROODY.
At the moment, all I can think about is smelling that indescribable baby smell, seeing that milk-drunk expression, and feeling that tiny body cuddled up in my arms.
So I figured I would remind myself of all the gross and freaky things that come hand-in-hand with newborns.
Without further ado, here are 5 freaky facts about babies.
5 Freaky Facts About Babies
1. Their Poop Doesn’t Stink… The First Time
A baby’s first poop is undoubtedly disgusting, but it wasn’t just your endorphin-driven, loved-up, new-momma vibes that prevented you from gagging and blocking your nose. It’s got more to do with the fact that your baby’s first poop didn’t have any odour at all.
Within 24 hours of being born, a baby makes its first poop. This first poop is called meconium, and it’s gross with a capital ‘G’.
Meconium doesn’t smell because the baby does not yet have anything to excrete other than whatever they digested while still tucked away in mom’s tummy.
What’s interesting about meconium is not just the fact that it’s practically odourless, but that it’s greenish-black in colour and has a sludgy, tar-like appearance.
If you’re like me, you’ll kak your own pants the first time you see it.
But don’t worry, you won’t be cleaning up oil spills for too long. Once your baby starts drinking milk, their digestive system kicks into gear and their poop won’t be black anymore but green, yellow, brown, or a mixture of all three.
And THEN it starts smelling.
2. Babies Cry Without Tears
Nobody in the history of the world would ever dare suggest that babies don’t cry, because boy oh boy, do they cry. But what they don’t do? Cry with tears!
No, your red-faced baby is not pulling a fast one or testing out their brand new lungs. It’s simply a case of their lacrimal glands not yet being able to produce tears.
Don’t worry, once they’re two weeks old those lacrimal glands will start working overtime and the salty stuff will be properly in production. Heads up: baby tears literally break your heart.
In saying that, sometimes it can appear as though babies are crying tears before they hit the two-week mark. This either means that they have a blocked tear duct, dacryocystitis, a viral illness, or they’re — scientifically speaking — an early bloomer.
3. They Have More Bones Than Grown Ups…
I know, I know. It sounds wild to even think that something so tiny can have more bones than something so big, but it’s true — if a little humerus to imagine.
Adults have 206 bones in their bodies, while babies are born with between 300 and 305 bones. The science behind it is actually pretty simple. As babies grow up, many of their bones fuse together.
For example, the humerus is made up of three to four separate pieces of cartilage that turn to bone. Then, around the time your little one turns three years old, those individual bones fuse together to create what is known as the humerus bone.
How bone-anas is that? I’ll stop. I promise.
4. …And Three Times as Many Taste Buds!
When it feels like your toddler is being the fussiest thing on the face of the Earth, they’re not just being fussy. They have three times as many taste buds as mom and dad, meaning that every flavour you introduce them to is experienced in a much more intense way.
If you don’t believe me, ask a breastfeeding mother who ate garlic with her dinner what her baby thought of their morning feed.
From birth, babies have a much higher concentration of taste buds than we adults have. While the average grown-up has around 5,000 taste buds, a newborn baby can have 10,000.
Taste buds replenish and regenerate themselves at an incredible rate. But as our babies grow up, their taste buds begin to dull due to injuries (like burning your tongue with hot liquid), overexposure to bold flavors such as chilli and lemon, certain medications, and straight-up age.
I knew that as I got older I could expect to start sucking at hearing. And smelling. And remembering. But tasting? Come on.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: growing up is a trap.
5. Baby Girls Can Menstruate and Baby Boys Can Get Erections
Um, internet say whaaaaat?
I genuinely didn’t believe this fact when I stumbled across it in my research. So, I did some deeper digging and found out that it’s true: baby boys can get erections and baby girls can menstruate.
Baby girls can experience minor bleeding from their hoohah during their first 2 to 10 days on Earth. This is called false menses, and it’s caused by the withdrawal of mom’s hormones that they got used to in the womb.
As for little boys, they are known to experience a surge of testosterone during their first few months of life. This testosterone causes them to get an erection. Baby boners, who’d have thunk it?
I’m Done, I Promise!
Seriously though, how freaky are these facts about babies? Not freaky enough to deter me from wanting a second child it seems, but still pretty dang weird.
But no matter which way you look at it — freaky facts notwithstanding — babies are the biggest and most beautiful blessing. And I want twelve of them, but I’ll settle for two.
Did any of these facts surprise you? Or are you all-knowing when it comes to bebes? If you have any of your own mind-boggling facts about babies, lemme know and I’ll duly add them to this list.
Till next Wednesday, folks!