Whether your pregnancy is planned or unplanned, finding out you have a life growing inside you is life changing.
Your world is titled on it’s axis and if you fall into the latter category you have some serious thinking to do.
As a then 20 year old shooter girl working at different pubs and clubs in Jozi, whose idea of a long term commitment is listing which countries you plan on visiting and messing about with boys and dodgy people (because YOLO) the news was definitely a shocker.
Finding Out I Was Pregnant
Let me start by saying: I did not know I was pregnant. Even though I vomited every night for a week (morning sickness is not limited to mornings apparently) the thought never crossed my mind.
I had my period like normal, and if you forget about the vomiting and emotional outbursts, I had no symptoms. When my mom asked me if I was pregnant, I outright denied it. I mean, I was only unsafe once and I had taken the morning after pill within the recommended time frame, I can’t be pregnant, right?
Turns out, moms know these things.
I came home to a pregnancy test resting on top of the loo with a note that read ‘call me when you’ve taken it’ and even though I just knew I wasn’t pregnant, I decided to take it just to get my mom off my case. My best friend also thought it would be weirdly fun, for shits and giggles and whatnot, and so I peed on the stick.
When those little lines appeared on the at home test, my world stopped for a second.
So… the morning after pill is 95% effective if taken within 24 hours, turns out that I fell into the 5%
My mind simply couldn’t wrap itself around the fact that I was pregnant.
I was pregnant?
As in, I was going to have a baby?
Wait – I was going to be a mom?
After I had successfully emptied my stomach on the grass, I phoned my mom. She rushed home from work, held me tight and told me she would support me no matter what, and together the three of us cried.
Breaking The News to Daddydaims
Seeing as Daddydaims and I had only known each other/been dating for a short while, I was incredibly nervous to share this news with him.
Funnily enough, I didn’t have to be nervous – as I didn’t actually break the news!
My little brother did.
Unbeknownst to me, good ‘ol Jack was eavesdropping from outside the bathroom door, and had heard our (probably very loud) exclamations of shock and mentionings of positive pregnancy tests.
So let me set the scene for ya.
I waited two days to ask Daddydaims to come over to my house (well my mom’s house). In this time, I had barely spoken to him. I was pretty terrified of what his reaction would be, so I let the news settle in for myself before I planned on telling him.
He arrived, and I went outside to greet him by means of a hug.
Jack saw us hugging and came to the conclusion that I had just broken the news and was comforting him.
So, he ran outside with a big smile on his face and excitedly asked ‘Did you tell him, Tash?’
And the super awkward conversation between the three of us that followed, is history.
You would think that a positive pregnancy test would have convinced us I was in fact pregnant but no.
We went to our local pharmacy and got a blood test to confirm or deny the accuracy of the at home pee stick, and the next day, at 08:06 our pharmacist texted us a screenshot of the positive test result with a big fat CONGRATS.
Even though this news tilted his world on its axis, he told me that we were in this together and he would stick by me.
Telling Daddydaims (Pastor) Parents
I was deeply consumed by not-always-morning morning sickness and nerves and so I sat this one out.
Daddydaims went to break the news to them himself, and his step-mom guessed straight off the bat. It took some time, especially for his father, to come to terms with the path their son and his young girlfriend were now on.
But once they had accepted our life course, they were so incredibly supportive and today – they turn to mush when they see Arabella’s face every Sunday.
Telling My Dad
This was a tough one.
Even though my dad lives on the other side of the world, and we hadn’t seen each other for a good couple of years, telling my dad that his baby girl was carrying her own baby girl was very difficult. Especially because it had to be done over the phone, you know, because of the oceans between us and stuff.
I will be honest – my dad didn’t take the news very well, probably because he and my mom had me so young.
As with all the other grandparents, today he is absolutely smitten with his granddaughter and flew all the way from England to come and meet her.
Telling The Rest Of The World
I let my dad break the news to my British famdam, and my mom told the clan over here. Daddydaims and I told our bosses and close friends, and then we waited until we knew the gender before making our announcement to the rest of the world via Facebook and received a breath-taking amount of love and support.
Overall, breaking the news is difficult.
The tiny secret you have been keeping is now broadcasted to the world, and all in it.
The beautiful miracle happening inside of you is now up for public discussion and sometimes, the discussion aint pretty.
I received a lot of flack because of my age and the duration of Daddydaims and mines relationship, and looking back I understand the concern – I am sure you are all as grateful as I am at the way things turned out.
When your pregnancy is a bit of a surprise to you, imagine how your partner and the rest of your family will feel. Take the time to plan your words carefully and decide who needs to know at what point.